Sabrina Gauer

Faith, Life & The Journey



Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful

“All who have been graciously, sovereignly, compassionately touched by the Savior and received the healing blood of his cross, we can see. Yes we all, like this guy from Bethsaida, have some blurriness of sight. But, don’t look away discouraged. See the Savior touch again. See him dip his finger in the great ocean of his blood and reapply. We are seeing better. We are loving more. This is due to the Savior’s powerful and gracious compassion.” — Erik Raymond

Jesus’ ministry here on earth in human form was short (around 33ish years, to be exact). But a major part of that ministry was physical healing. These miracles weren’t identical — He didn’t have “one perfect way” of healing a person. Just as we are all individuals, His miracles were exactly what that person needed at the exact time and in the exact way they needed it.

There was a blind man who Jesus led away from the crowds, spit in his eyes, laid hands on him, and then asked him if he could see. At first, his sight was blurry, so Jesus laid hands on him again — and his sight was completely restored!

Continue reading “Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful”

Walk This Way

“…your time of tears is over. Cry for help and you’ll find it’s grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he’ll answer. Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he’ll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: “This is the right road. Walk down this road.”  – Isaiah 30:19-21 (MSG)

Listen; God answers prayer.

That’s not just a feel-good saying or a wish to throw up at the sky when we’re feeling helpless. Time and time again, scripture is full of God coming through in mighty and powerful ways for those who trust Him; right on time, every single time.

And if examples in history aren’t enough, I have experienced His goodness and mercy over and over again in my personal story. So I can say with absolute certainty: God answers prayer.

There is nothing too great for Him. Nothing is impossible for Him to accomplish. But sometimes I think that maybe we are brought to the very edge of ourselves and our humanness in order for Him to prove His faithfulness and our reliance on Him. If the Holy Spirit is guiding us, we have that clear, still, small voice inside that says, “This is the way, walk in it.” And we have to take those steps in faith, believing that no matter how crazy the next step might be, the outcome will be God’s best for us. 

When I chose to walk this route of holistic healing instead of conventional medicine (radiation), I truly believe that as I sat there in the radiation oncology office, no longer hearing the doctor over the roar in my ears and the spinning of the room, my hands tightly clasped in my lap and tears choking me…I was stilled inside by clarity and those four words: “Do you trust Me?”

Nineteen months later, I’m holding to the promises He’s made to me about health, healing, and the future. Still choosing life. Still confident in seeing the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (Ps. 27:13). Proving His faithfulness to me and to my family, over and over.

It never stops. His faithfulness and unfailing love never ends.

So then…why does my confidence rely on tomorrow’s proof? Why isn’t His faithfulness in the past enough for me?

My doubt seems insignificant in comparison to the Israelites. When I read about the ways God came through for them (parting the Red Sea, saving them from slavery, sending miracle after miracle their way and leading them to the Promised Land- just to name a few!), and how they constantly forgot who God was and turned back to rebellion, I want to shake them in disbelief. “Why don’t you get it?” I want to yell at them. “God loved you so much and was so merciful to you time and time again- but you chose to worry, complain, and disobey instead!”

Then, I get a nice reality check. I’m no different in my worry, anxiety, doubt, and disobedience. I rejoice and feel so loved and blessed when He meets my needs, always right on time. But when I’m in the desert, or when it’s dark and I’m afraid to take another step further, or I sink into depression or despair because the answer (in my finite brain) is never coming…

I turn to my own strength. I strive, struggle, and lose myself in an emotional rollercoaster.

“Do you trust Me?”

Those words are true in ALL circumstances. Not just in the path I’ve been led to in my freedom from illness, but in my worry about where next month’s rent is coming from. When I stress about work. When I’m angry over situations caused by others that I internalize or take personally. When I’m feeling so beyond myself and my capabilities. When the hard times seem neverending.

He is able. That impossible thing- HE WILL DO IT. If you’re walking faithfully with Christ, day by day, then I guarantee you will see His mercy and grace. Those areas of life where you strive and struggle- give them over to a God who sees your need and knows exactly how to fulfill it. And I also guarantee that when He meets your need, many times it’s in a way that blesses you AND blesses someone else. Maybe He’s using you to encourage, reassure, or bring an answer to others through your story. You don’t know the full extent what He’s doing with your surrendered life!

For His glory, and your good. Always. Be encouraged, wherever you are at today, that your prayers are being heard, and He is answering them. 

Through Beautiful Disaster

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.” – 1 Corinthians 15:54

I have heard that sickness and illness are not part of God’s plan for our lives. That we were only meant to be healthy. If we’d just listen better, do better, pray more, read our Bibles more, meditate more on scripture to back up this claim, change our ways…

Here’s my take on it: sickness and illness are a fact of life. 

We live in a broken, sin-filled, messed up world. You could live the healthiest life possible and still end up with some weird illness. Or you could be killed in a car accident on your way home. There are no guarantees in this life that anything you do in your own strength will save you.

But Jesus…

I love that verse from Corinthians (which is why I added it above this post). Death is swallowed up. That analogy is so powerful when I think about how Christ literally defeated Death when He became the sin-offering for all mankind, for all time. We can’t save ourselves. We can do our best to live the way we should, but without Christ, Death is the end of the line for us.

Christ offers a guaranteed, blessed assurance of eternity and infinite grace. Perfection only exists in Heaven.

When people try to say that God doesn’t want us to be sick, I have to think back on my own story  and disagree with that statement. No, I don’t think my cancer and low immune system was God’s punishment (because I heard that too…“You know, you have to release any bitterness or resentment in your life before God can heal you…” Okay then.) or that He was angry with me. But I absolutely believe that it was the result of many factors: high stress, not taking care of myself the way I should have been, not listening to my body, allowing emotions to get out of control, not eating right, and so on. Cancer was the red light that stopped me in my tracks and forced me to make a decision about my health and wellness. To choose life, or to keep living out of balance. But it wasn’t some Divine punishment.

Instead, I think it was gift. I truly believe that it was a necessary part of my journey. In the bigger picture, having cancer was the turning point where God opened my eyes to a passion and a focus. To healing and restoration. To point out His absolute goodness and sovereignty in my life.

To glorify His name.

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.” – Isaiah 12:4-5

I choose to believe that something the Enemy meant for harm, God used for His glory and my good. He alone brought victory.

Whatever you are walking through today, even in the hardest parts: He is still good, sovereign, and merciful. Sometimes, His mercy is a severe mercy (like allowing us to walk through sickness and darkness) that saves us from our destruction. Sometimes, our journey isn’t really for us; it’s for others around us to see the Savior. There is beauty in tragedy, though we don’t always see it right away. It’s always in the retrospect that we are aware of the fingerprints of God in every chapter of our lives.

The next time someone tries to tell you what God’s will is for your life…look to Him before taking their opinions to heart. Listen for that still, small voice that proclaims the truth: Death has been swallowed up in victory. The only thing we can truly know about God’s will is that He calls us to be obedient, to keep trusting Him daily, and sometimes, strength to simply put one foot in front of the other.

In sickness and in health, His will be done.

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