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Sabrina Gauer

Faith, Life & The Journey

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Fear

Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful

“All who have been graciously, sovereignly, compassionately touched by the Savior and received the healing blood of his cross, we can see. Yes we all, like this guy from Bethsaida, have some blurriness of sight. But, don’t look away discouraged. See the Savior touch again. See him dip his finger in the great ocean of his blood and reapply. We are seeing better. We are loving more. This is due to the Savior’s powerful and gracious compassion.” — Erik Raymond

Jesus’ ministry here on earth in human form was short (around 33ish years, to be exact). But a major part of that ministry was physical healing. These miracles weren’t identical — He didn’t have “one perfect way” of healing a person. Just as we are all individuals, His miracles were exactly what that person needed at the exact time and in the exact way they needed it.

There was a blind man who Jesus led away from the crowds, spit in his eyes, laid hands on him, and then asked him if he could see. At first, his sight was blurry, so Jesus laid hands on him again — and his sight was completely restored!

Continue reading “Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful”

Through Beautiful Disaster

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.” – 1 Corinthians 15:54

I have heard that sickness and illness are not part of God’s plan for our lives. That we were only meant to be healthy. If we’d just listen better, do better, pray more, read our Bibles more, meditate more on scripture to back up this claim, change our ways…

Here’s my take on it: sickness and illness are a fact of life. 

We live in a broken, sin-filled, messed up world. You could live the healthiest life possible and still end up with some weird illness. Or you could be killed in a car accident on your way home. There are no guarantees in this life that anything you do in your own strength will save you.

But Jesus…

I love that verse from Corinthians (which is why I added it above this post). Death is swallowed up. That analogy is so powerful when I think about how Christ literally defeated Death when He became the sin-offering for all mankind, for all time. We can’t save ourselves. We can do our best to live the way we should, but without Christ, Death is the end of the line for us.

Christ offers a guaranteed, blessed assurance of eternity and infinite grace. Perfection only exists in Heaven.

When people try to say that God doesn’t want us to be sick, I have to think back on my own story  and disagree with that statement. No, I don’t think my cancer and low immune system was God’s punishment (because I heard that too…“You know, you have to release any bitterness or resentment in your life before God can heal you…” Okay then.) or that He was angry with me. But I absolutely believe that it was the result of many factors: high stress, not taking care of myself the way I should have been, not listening to my body, allowing emotions to get out of control, not eating right, and so on. Cancer was the red light that stopped me in my tracks and forced me to make a decision about my health and wellness. To choose life, or to keep living out of balance. But it wasn’t some Divine punishment.

Instead, I think it was gift. I truly believe that it was a necessary part of my journey. In the bigger picture, having cancer was the turning point where God opened my eyes to a passion and a focus. To healing and restoration. To point out His absolute goodness and sovereignty in my life.

To glorify His name.

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.” – Isaiah 12:4-5

I choose to believe that something the Enemy meant for harm, God used for His glory and my good. He alone brought victory.

Whatever you are walking through today, even in the hardest parts: He is still good, sovereign, and merciful. Sometimes, His mercy is a severe mercy (like allowing us to walk through sickness and darkness) that saves us from our destruction. Sometimes, our journey isn’t really for us; it’s for others around us to see the Savior. There is beauty in tragedy, though we don’t always see it right away. It’s always in the retrospect that we are aware of the fingerprints of God in every chapter of our lives.

The next time someone tries to tell you what God’s will is for your life…look to Him before taking their opinions to heart. Listen for that still, small voice that proclaims the truth: Death has been swallowed up in victory. The only thing we can truly know about God’s will is that He calls us to be obedient, to keep trusting Him daily, and sometimes, strength to simply put one foot in front of the other.

In sickness and in health, His will be done.

Same Story, Different Ending

“Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the Lord are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them.” Hosea 14:9

There is this strange concept in life- experiencing the same lesson over and over again, and the opportunity we have each time to make a different decision or to choose the familiar, well-worn path that produces the same results as the last time.

You know your path.

Maybe it’s allowing others to repeatedly use you as a doormat. Or perhaps it’s the fear, so you never take a step outside of your comfort zone. Maybe it’s refusing to take responsibility for the repeated wrong turns, blame-shifting instead of owning your part, or being drawn to the same dysfunction.

Every few months, I find myself looking backward to think forward.

Time makes us older, but not necessarily wiser – unless we allow ourselves to dig deep and 33418_holding_compass_centerevaluate our attitudes, choices, and behaviors. Why do you stay in that toxic relationship? Why do you keep overextending yourself? Why are you stuck in a draining work environment? Why don’t you stand up for yourself in moments when others assert manipulative authority over you?

And once we’ve cleaned ourselves up and decided we’re ready to be stronger, why do the same situations and types of people keep appearing on our journey?

I think it’s because we’re given chances. I believe it’s a way for us to realize that we aren’t dictated by our past, and our future is still unwritten. But when we allow our past decisions to cripple us, we miss out on that surprising strength and satisfaction that comes from doing things differently this time around.

Rejecting toxicity.

Setting boundaries.

Making and reaching realistic goals.

Graciously carrying yourself as someone to be respected.

And there is nothing more satisfying than to see the same story conclude with a different outcome. To know that you alone have the power to make or break your journey. Victims blame and carry the weight of their past. But victors rise up from adversity and walk in freedom. True strength comes from quitting the cycle and receiving the consequential reward.

As Albert Einstein supposedly said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” And personally, I’m choosing to forget what’s behind and press on toward what’s ahead- because that’s where the blessings are. Not in expecting a different ending to the story by choosing the same path. I’ve wasted too much of my past in the cycle, and I believe there is honestly only one way to change: we choose wisdom and discernment, or we choose to be blown around by the wind.

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