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Sabrina Gauer

Faith, Life & The Journey

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Seasons

2017: In Review

“There is no passion to be found playing small — in settling for a life that is less than you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

 

A year changes a lot of things.

When you’re in it, you don’t see the subtle things that add up to the big picture, but wow, what a difference a year makes! And one of my favorite things is to write down the significant parts, and compare them to where I was in the past, and see not only how my life keeps moving forward, but also how the Creator’s hand paints a beautiful masterpiece through each moment.

I’m so grateful for this life.

Continue reading “2017: In Review”

Flexible Routine

“God is not man, that He should lie, or a son of man, that He should change his mind. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not fulfill it?” – Numbers 23:19 (ESV)

I have a really tough time with change.

As exciting as life can be sometimes with all of the different things that happen in our stories, it doesn’t mean it’s always smooth transitions into each new thing. And the only absolutely certain thing about life is that it WILL change.

For someone who has had a lot of change in her life, I’m still not 100% okay with it. Flexibility has never been a strength of mine; I’m a detail-oriented, punctual, high expectations type of person. And when plans switch up on me unexpectedly, or my carefully plotted out list isn’t checked off correctly, something inside of me literally feels uncomfortable.

Change can be scary. It induces anxiety and stress when I don’t feel in control. And even if I feel I’ve already learned to accept change as a normal, regular part of life – it still catches me by surprise and off-guard every time.

Lately, there’s been a lot of change in my life. Things have been coming at me in ways I never expected, and it’s all GOOD! But it’s a change to my routine, and I quickly slip into that space again where I’m trying to juggle all the pieces without taking a breath in between.

Here is a truth I’ve discovered: every season of life requires a new commitment to flexibility and trust. Whatever routine and schedule I had worked out for the last season doesn’t always work in the present circumstances.

And it’s all okay. It’s all just a part of the process.

God’s plan for our lives, if we let Him take control, is filled with hope, a sure future, and to prosper. If we trust that plan, and allow the change to grow us to become more like Jesus Christ in how we respond and act, then we are promised that “all things will work together for good” for those who love Him and keep His commandments! (Romans 8:28)

I’m still going to get frustrated sometimes when I’m in that “not yet” place. I’m still going to feel thrown off my game when the path changes to a sharp left before I was ready to take it. But He already knows where I’m going – He’s already gone there before me and made a way before I realized I needed it. “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 43:5) And that promise of a hope and a future is assurance that I don’t have to figure it out on my own. I just need to keep moving forward in faith.

 

 

Healing Habits

“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart.” – Jeremiah 29:13

I am an avid journal-keeper.

From the time I was in third grade, when my teacher asked us all to begin keeping little records of our lives, and I discovered I loved this therapeutic habit, I couldn’t stop. The number of life moments I wrote about and have the opportunity to revisit — from the birth of siblings, to teenage angst, to daydreams, to wondering about God, to gut-wrenching heartbreak —  it’s all there. Concrete in ink.

Admittedly, I’ve thrown out some of them or torn pages out of others. But there is something so powerful in reading the thoughts of a person I hardly know anymore. In 29 years, she’s been through emotional, physical, and spiritual battles, lost friends and loved ones to disease and  cancer, moved several times, fallen in and out of love, has traveled and met the most amazing people who have changed her life, found her passion, discovered more about the nature of God than she ever realized, and grew.

Oh, how she’s grown.

My journals now are conversations with God. They’re my frank, open, honest assessments of myself and the situations I am facing, good and bad. And journaling has been, by far, one of the most healing self-care habits I stick to in every season.

The past five years have probably been the most rollercoaster of seasons I’ve ever experienced. And writing has kept me sane. Tapping into that creative voice and allowing the words to flow through moments of joy, dark pain, death and sadness, cancer, fear, redemption and grace, anger and betrayal, awe and gratefulness and blessing…the list goes on and on.

But within myself lies the answer. It’s the Holy Spirit.

I’m still healing. This has been the hardest realization. This week, I’m dealing with some very heavy things that have been triggering past anxiety, pain, and the need for deep breaths. But practicing the art of mindfulness, prayer, and journaling has been yet again such an outlet for releasing emotion and bringing myself back to center.

Back to focusing on Christ’s love and His healing power working through my life.

If you don’t have a healing habit yet, I urge you to start now. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s going for a walk to clear your head. Maybe it’s music, or yoga, or running, or simply closing your eyes for a few moments to take a deep breath.

Come back to center. And ask yourself the hard questions about healing and refocusing. Deep down, you know there’s an answer.

It’s just a matter of being brave enough to seek it…with your whole heart.

 

 

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