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Sabrina Gauer

Faith, Life & The Journey

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Jesus

Fear and Faith

“Jesus said, ‘Don’t be afraid; only believe.'” – Mark 5:36

I learned very quickly in this cancer journey round two that Google is my medical enemy.

The moment I was rediagnosed, I went on a mad search for doctors, holistic cures, and stories of hope. But what I found was a rabbit hole that sucked me deeper and deeper into despair.

Five-year survival rate from first diagnosis. High mortality. Many have tried…few (if any??) have succeeded in living beyond the five years without major risks and complications that came from the “only option” of surgeries, chemo, and radiation.

One late afternoon in early May of this year, before I knew what my plan would be or who would work with me from a medical perspective, I was laying in the hyperbaric oxygen chamber, anxiously waiting for my PET scan results, and doing another frantic search for answers on my phone. When I came out of the chamber, I was so overwhelmed by everything I had read that I could hardly process all the “bad news”.

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Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful

“All who have been graciously, sovereignly, compassionately touched by the Savior and received the healing blood of his cross, we can see. Yes we all, like this guy from Bethsaida, have some blurriness of sight. But, don’t look away discouraged. See the Savior touch again. See him dip his finger in the great ocean of his blood and reapply. We are seeing better. We are loving more. This is due to the Savior’s powerful and gracious compassion.” — Erik Raymond

Jesus’ ministry here on earth in human form was short (around 33ish years, to be exact). But a major part of that ministry was physical healing. These miracles weren’t identical — He didn’t have “one perfect way” of healing a person. Just as we are all individuals, His miracles were exactly what that person needed at the exact time and in the exact way they needed it.

There was a blind man who Jesus led away from the crowds, spit in his eyes, laid hands on him, and then asked him if he could see. At first, his sight was blurry, so Jesus laid hands on him again — and his sight was completely restored!

Continue reading “Healing Isn’t Particularly Beautiful”

When It’s Better To Be Uprooted

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” –  Colossians 2:7

I winced a bit as I gingerly wiggled the plant in its temporary potted situation. I needed it to come loose and put it in its new home — a spacious terra cotta. But this guy was adamant about staying packed into a makeshift home I had put him in last year after he fell off the windowsill (I’m trying to help you, buddy!!).

The job of replanting ended up requiring a butter knife, losing a few stems, and a big mess of roots and dirt before I was able to successfully dislodge him from his temporary housing into his more permanent (and much more comfortable!) place of growth.

And then I started thinking about life and how, as humans, we like what we know. We get comfortable, even when the place of “comfort” might not be what’s best for us. We are firmly wedged into our routines, schedules, families, friends, etc.

But what if uprooting is what’s best? What if there’s a BETTER place of promise beyond what we can see from our stubborn hold on what we think our lives should be?

Continue reading “When It’s Better To Be Uprooted”

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