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Sabrina Gauer

Faith, Life & The Journey

Sit Down, Be Humble

“He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you.” – Deuteronomy 8:15-16

Let’s talk about humility, shall we?

Of all the lessons I’ve opened myself to learning over the past six months (yes, wow. Six months since I first felt something was wrong again with my tongue and was experiencing pain again…time does surely fly!), I have this sense of being humbled on many, many levels.

Don’t get me wrong — my first surgery that removed half of my tongue and 10-days of hospital living was also very, very humbling physically and emotionally.

But this time around, it’s been a different sort of humble. The pride that I took in being back at work, pristine organization of my room and staying on top of household chores (I’m 99% sure I have some OCD), being able to sing and play guitar again, getting my health coaching certification and expanding my knowledge of holistic wellness, showing my strength despite the horrendous setbacks over the past few years, feeling like I had some semblance of control again…

This time around, all of that has been stripped away for a while.

Continue reading “Sit Down, Be Humble”

“So, how much longer?”

“So, when will you be done with treatment?”

A friend on Instagram posted this FAQ she gets when talking to friends or family about her natural and alternative treatments she’s doing for her cancer. Her answer was so spot on, I needed to make a post in agreement and add my own two-cents.

“I told my husband, Mike, I don’t typically know what to reply. He said, “The answer is when you don’t have cancer.” Even then there will always be things I do, including IVC therapy (just less often), to keep my body functioning as properly as possible to keep cancer at bay.

So, the short answer is I won’t be “done with treatment” any time soon. My particular cancer journey isn’t a short one, but that’s ok because Mike and I are trying to make lifestyle & treatment choices for my long term health for a longer term life!” — Jenny, @ShrinkTheMutant

And that’s the BIG picture right there. Making lifestyle and treatment choices for long-term health, for a longer-term life. I LOVE that. So much truth in that statement that resonated with my spirit.

Continue reading ““So, how much longer?””

Honesty and Grace

“Oh my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name!
Oh my soul, bless Goddon’t forget a single blessing! He forgives your sins—every one. He heals your diseases—every one. He redeems you from hell—saves your life! He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown. He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal. He renews your youth—you’re always young in His presence.” — Psalm 103:1-5 (the Message)

 

Part of my desire to share my journey with friends and strangers alike is to be as real as humanly possible in the social media realm.

Social media is all about showing the best sides of ourselves, in the best lighting, through the perfect filter, and falling into the trap of wanting a life that truly isn’t reality. So today, I wanted to write a raw post about how I’ve been doing emotionally as well as physically.

Fighting cancer in general is hard. But fighting cancer naturally/alternatively has taken me to a whole new level of difficulty. I’m so new to being 100% in with holistic healing and wellness. This might be my second round with cancer, but to look myself in the eye every morning in the bathroom mirror and promise to not give up, no matter how much excruciating pain I’m in, really takes courage.

And I don’t always feel particularly courageous.

It’s making the decision (sometimes moment by moment) to put all my faith and trust in the Ultimate Healer.

When my veins don’t want to cooperate for treatment, when I’m having trouble sleeping, when I have to cancel plans AGAIN with friends because I’m feeling too exhausted or in pain to hang out, when I’m overwhelmed by all the emotions that come with being almost 30 years old and trying not to be envious of those around me who are doing life the “normal” way — starting families, buying homes, changing jobs, moving, etc. — I have to remind myself that everyone has something they’re dealing with. Maybe it’s not cancer, but every single person on the planet has something they’re working through, healing from, or struggling with. Their life is not my life, and I’m only equipped to handle my own.

And that’s okay.

I need to have grace with myself on the daily to accept where God has me right now, acknowledge the emotions and then let them go, and trust that the bigger picture will make so much more sense than the current view. Doesn’t mean I have to LOVE what’s happening at the moment, but I can accept it and work through it.

I am thankful for the network of support I’ve been blessed with. I am surrounded by some of the most incredible people who believe in what I’m doing and give me space to make the decisions I’m at peace with and what I feel is best for me and my body. It’s a longer journey than I expected (more on that later), but a necessary one, and I couldn’t do any of this alone.

A few weeks ago, I recorded a video to update everyone, what I’m doing for treatment, and giving a shoutout to those who have donated to help me continue to fight this naturally. If you are one of those people, THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. And if you feel led, here’s a link to the GoFundMe page that my wonderful friend and cancer-survivor sister, Katie Warren, created to help off-set the expenses of treatment and travel ❤

 

 

 

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