“All who have been graciously, sovereignly, compassionately touched by the Savior and received the healing blood of his cross, we can see. Yes we all, like this guy from Bethsaida, have some blurriness of sight. But, don’t look away discouraged. See the Savior touch again. See him dip his finger in the great ocean of his blood and reapply. We are seeing better. We are loving more. This is due to the Savior’s powerful and gracious compassion.” — Erik Raymond

Jesus’ ministry here on earth in human form was short (around 33ish years, to be exact). But a major part of that ministry was physical healing. These miracles weren’t identical — He didn’t have “one perfect way” of healing a person. Just as we are all individuals, His miracles were exactly what that person needed at the exact time and in the exact way they needed it.

There was a blind man who Jesus led away from the crowds, spit in his eyes, laid hands on him, and then asked him if he could see. At first, his sight was blurry, so Jesus laid hands on him again — and his sight was completely restored!

I’ve read this story in the book of Mark a million times. But a very important piece was pointed out to me recently…Jesus actually SPIT into this man’s eyes?? Obviously spitting on someone seems disgusting and crazy. But the blind man was completely healed by this very unconventional method!

Every healing journey is different. And more often than not, the journey takes MUCH longer than we anticipate.

When I think of that blind man with the spit in his eyes, I wonder what went through his mind in that pivotal moment that changed his life forever. Why the spit? Why didn’t the miracle “take” the first time? Why did this particular incident happen in private?

Why did Jesus have to ask the man twice if he could see?

Then I think of my own journey that has led me to today, sitting on my couch, listening to an autumn acoustic playlist on Spotify, sipping a homemade turmeric latte, currently on short-term disability (yes, I am officially “disabled” at the moment, which seems a bit strange, and yet has been an incredible blessing for rest and recovery). Back in April when I received the news from my oncologist that the cancer had recurred and they immediately wanted to perform catastrophic and invasive surgery, I clearly heard that voice deep inside my spirit that said, “You won’t have surgery.”

I clung to promises God has revealed to me over the years that have yet to come to fruition. I had so much faith, hope, and trust that I had been led to the truth about cancer and disease for such a time as this, and that my story would inspire others to find their best healing path, too.

But wow.

In making that decision to follow a more alternative/holistic route, I just never thought it would be half a year of needles, traveling for treatment, trying to raise money to cover all the out-of-pocket expenses, facing an uphill battle with every conventional medical professional who thinks I’m insane, surgery a few weeks ago to have a port placed in my chest so that I could receive more frequent treatments and save my poor hand veins, extreme fatigue, constant nerve pain in my mouth, weeks of not being able to chew solid foods, terribly swollen lymph nodes in my neck, and moment by moment fighting the mental battle of believing my body is healing and strong, regardless of what my temporary feelings may be. All the supplements. Pain meds. Sleeping a lot. Trying to keep up with everyone and giving myself grace when I just can’t handle it all — or when I just need to be alone.

This is the raw, unbeautiful side of healing.

But if this is Jesus’ way of pulling me gently away from the world for a while, to rest, recover, and just breathe…to draw me close and teach me things in this hidden season that I never would have been focused on if I was going full speed ahead, to build up my strength and resolve once again, to give me a fresh perspective on how He’s using me and molding me, to learn in this time how to be compassionate toward others on this journey and to lead by example…

Then, I’m okay with the miracle taking its time.

He knows when I’m ready to fully heal, in His time and His grace. I know I will be completely and totally healed and restored for His glory and honor. He’s with me every step, and all the little miracles along the way aren’t to be ignored either. It’s as if He blesses me to overflowing each day, and continually asks, “What do you see?” 

Ladies and gentlemen, my miracle is coming. But it will be at the exact moment in the exact way that I need it and Jesus gets all the glory for it. Because He is alive and moving in our stories today. The grave is empty. Death has been defeated. And when we let the Holy Spirit change us from the inside out, we have access to that SAME POWER that raised Christ from the dead!

Let that sink in. Believe that if you have accepted Jesus as Savior and Redeemer over your whole life, you aren’t left alone to battle in fear and doubt. Miracles are real. Hope is necessary. And faith changes everything. 

Healing physically, emotionally, and spiritually requires time and hard work. It isn’t a pretty process. Might even require some blood, sweat, and tears. But it’s worth every painful moment if we come through the fire stronger, bolder, and filled with world-changing passion for the things of God.

How can I pray for YOU today?