“That’s why we have to start. That’s why we have to go first. That’s why we have to be brave — so that others will be inspired to be brave along with us.” – Annie Downs
The other night, after a particularly hard day, I lay awake for hours, wondering, “How much longer, Lord?” I definitely expected natural treatments to be easier. I don’t know what I was thinking — a battle is still a battle, whether you fight it with machine guns or swords or fists.
When Jesus calls you to walk on the water, it means to be completely unsure of anything except His outstretched hand. Knowing without a doubt that He’d never let you drown. He has never failed you, and He won’t stop now, no matter what you’re facing in this life.
My body is at war with itself. And I’m doing my best to breathe, stay present, allow the process to happen, press on through the physical pain, the mental fatigue, and keep reminding myself that I chose a different healing path for a reason; God has led me here, He knows what it’s going to take to get me through this. “I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.” (Isaiah 45:2)
It’s marathon season. Marathons are all about pacing yourself. But there’s a point when the marathon runner is about 21ish miles in, and their quads start burning. The desire to slow down, the suggestion to give up and just walk the rest of the way…it’s all there (so I’ve heard, since I don’t run, haha).
But if they give up at the 21 mile, they’ll never know the joy and satisfaction of completing the 26.2 miles they’ve been training for all of this time. The race isn’t over until they’re across the finish line. Healing is a marathon, too. I just want to sprint to the finish line already — but it’s not the way it works.
Maybe this is my 21ish mile.
It’s “only” been 51 days (but…who’s counting…lol) of treating my body EVEN MORE naturally since my second diagnosis. Fifty-one long, sometimes very painful, sometimes awe-inspiring, sometimes confusing, sometimes joyful, sometimes extremely taxing days. And I never in a million years thought I’d be facing my 30th year with cancer-round-two.
But you know what else those marathon runners have going for them?
Their loved ones on the sidelines who are screaming in excitement. The other runners around them who are telling each other not to give up. The bystanders who are caught up in the frenzy of cheering and shouting encouragement — because everyone wants to see you finish strong. Yes, you have to make the choice to keep up the pace and put one tired foot in front of the other. But the energy and faith of those around you is vital to your success.
I am so incredibly blessed to say I have never been alone, and especially in this current season of life. It’s as if every past moment has led me to this point — equipped me for this battle and surrounded me with the warriors I would need for this fight (yes, I’m big on imagery).
So, here’s to keeping on. I don’t know what you’re facing today as you read this post, but know that your choice to be brave in spite of your circumstances will change the story for someone else. You choice to push on past the 21 mile marker will inspire others to keep running, too.
***Many have asked me what they can do to help. My friends have organized two AMAZING fundraisers to help pay for the natural therapies and treatments, as everything is out-of-pocket costs. If you feel led to help and give, please click on the links for more info!