“Be still in the presence of the Lordand wait patiently for Him to act.” – Psalm 37:7

Let’s have an honest discussion about patience.

I pride myself on being Queen of Efficiency. My life consists of To-Do lists and virtual sticky notes. I feel most at peace and accomplished when I’m doing something…when I’m making stuff happen…when I feel in control of my life.

So, when things happen in my life that are entirely outside of my realm of jurisdiction, I struggle to feel peace. I struggle to see beyond the issue at hand that I’m fighting so hard to fix or resolve, because that’s who I am. I’m a fixer. I’m a doer. I’m absolutely, without a doubt, more of a Martha than a Mary.

When I read that passage in Psalm 37, I feel conflicted. One half of me says, “Yes, Lord! I know that Your will and Your way is best, and I don’t need to fear or worry because You’re in control. I just need to be patient and wait on You.” But the very human, very raw and real part of me also says, “But Lord, I’ve been faithful, I’ve trusted You this far…why? Why can’t I see what You’re doing? Why don’t these things make any sense? I want answers NOW, Lord!” 29132_Trust

Don’t we ALL find ourselves in this place, at one point or another?

The funny thing about patience and waiting on God is that most of the time, it doesn’t make sense. We can’t figure God out, no matter how hard we try. And every time I think I’m in a good place and have started to understand, circumstances are flipped on their head and I’m pressing into Him even more. The amazing thing is that as I seek, and as I wait, and as I struggle, He holds me and allows me to ask those questions. He shows me more of His character and His heart. He reminds me who I am in Christ. And He whispers, “Trust me.”

What I have realized throughout these moments in my life, for as short a time as I’ve been on this earth, is that God delights in showing us who He is and what He is capable of. He’s not some punisher in the sky, trying to confuse and distort, or just waiting for us to mess up. He’s the author and perfecter of our faith, and He is Grace. Mercy. And Unfailing Love- no matter what.

Trust leads to the patience that we so desperately need. And the patience leads to the stillness, and the peace that passes all understanding. In the quiet, in the seeking, He’s working. And He’s reminding us…”Be still and trust My plan, I am more than you think I am.”